Sweater-vest, Beardo, Pigseye, Mom Jeans, Bulky, and Eyebrow.

There are way too many new people at work for me to assign them all unflattering nicknames, much less learn their actual names. It occured to me yesterday that the drastic shift in the median age of my co-workers is probably at least partially responsible for the change to my schedule. The truckload of fresh-out-of-junior-college new reps on the phones has probably made the 10:30 - 7 shift a lot easier to staff. I decided that rather than suffer the undiluted indignity of the opening shift next week, I would just bite the bullet and sign up to work every hour the call center is open next week.

I realize that's the office staffing equivalent of cutting yourself to feel control over your life, but it'll be nice to not have to check my schedule. Combined with this week's overtime, that amounts to almost 3 weeks' pay on my next check and no rent to pay out of it. Current front-runners for immediate self-reward include the 1.5 horsepower meat grinder that Amazon.com keeps e-mailing me about, a second-hand chest freezer, and a new suit or two.

I turned 31 yesterday. Today, I will eat the weight of a newborn child in shiwarma to celebrate with my family, but after that, you should stop by the Bargain Basement Bar for a cocktail.